Advice from a Matchmaker: No Such Thing as Fate
December 1, 2016
Short Guys are the Best Guys (Part 1)
December 3, 2016

You are More than a Pretty Face

fb-logoThe Maitre D’ate introduction procedure goes along these lines:
  1. Show the man the written profile of the woman;
  2. If he likes it then I show him her photo;
  3. If he likes it then I show the woman his written profile;
  4. If she likes it then I show her his photo; and
  5. If everything is copacetic I schedule a date and off we go.
When people ask, “Why profile before photo?” I always reply, “Heuristics” but it’s more complicated than that.
Heuristics are simple, efficient rules that people often use to form judgments[1] and I think people use them (unknowingly of course) to a fault because we often make snap judgements on people based on their looks.
The other reason for sharing the profile before pic is that, in the Age of Swiping, people’s perceived value is based on their looks.
I hate that and you should too because that means people decide your compatibility, sensuality and sense of humor all based on a photo.
Yes, looks are important but we all know people get better looking the more wonderful you realize they are and they get uglier when you find out they’re not a beautiful person on the inside.
Also, is it fair to make a judgement just based on a photo? Unless it’s a glamour shot or you are super photogenic, a photo will never do you justice.
Humans are imperfect and we are not nearly as rationally as we would like to think. By putting these steps in place I hope to make the matching process a little less biased on preconceived notions.
This is a win-win because more people will give you a chance and not miss out on your awesomeness and you will be more open to meeting people who, on first impression, you may have not have realized how worthwhile they are.

xo MD

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[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heuristics_in_judgment_and_decision-making#Efficient_decision_heuristics

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