Despite our differences, Men & Women
have at least this One thing in Common
Men and women come from the same planet but we have our differences, which can make dating and relationships tough.
For example, men show their love & affection through actions while women have an easier time putting their feelings into words, men aren’t great at picking up on women’s hints whereas women read way too much into men’s actions, and men are quite straightforward (when they’re being honest with themselves) but we women can’t help but get all tangled up in our thoughts.
However, despite these differences, there is one thing both genders have in common: Rejection scares the shit out of us.
Now there are a few among us who have self-esteem made of steel. If that happens to be you, please feel free to stop reading. But for the other 95% of us, the idea of breaking the ice with a stranger we find attractive is paralyzing because that fear of rejection is so ingrained into our heads.
This fear is a bit farfetched, don’t you think? What’s the worst that could happen if you started chatting with the cutie sitting beside you on the MTR?
If someone came up to you and tried to strike up a conversation (in a non-creepy way of course), would you tell them to fuck off? Would you freak out? Would you blatantly ignore them so they feel like they’re talking to a wall?
No, you would not. If you were interested you’d get on board and chat away. But if you weren’t interested you would be discrete about it. You would be kind about it. You would quickly and as painlessly-as-possible tell them you’re not interested or are in a relationship or whatever. You know why? Because you are a decent person.
But you aren’t the only decent person in the world. Almost everyone else is pretty decent too.
So it goes without saying that if you struck up a conversation with a person you found attractive they would either be into it or, if they’re not, they will rebuff you in the most nicest of ways because very few people get off on being mean, especially in response to a person doing something way out of their comfort zone like speaking to a stranger.
My question to you now is…Do you want to be the type of person who can make conversation with a good-looking stranger?
I get my clients who are shy and want to break out of their shell to do a somewhat simple task: Say hello to three strangers every day for one week. The point is to get comfortable with the notion of speaking to a stranger and realize that getting into a conversation with a stranger can be easy and enjoyable. It also teaches them that getting rejected by a stranger stings at first but the pain dissipates (and is forgotten) pretty frickin fast.
The other thing I suggest is paying strangers compliments. The point of that exercise is to show them how happy people get when someone says something nice to them and they’ll rarely (if ever) take a compliment the wrong way.
Do you want to give it a shot? You can reject the fear of rejection and maybe even meet your future SO on the MTR.
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