Advice from a Matchmaker: No Such Thing as Fate

It’s Your Call

Let’s clarify something: Love isn’t about fate. You may think fate has a hand in certain aspects of your life and maybe it has something to do with you meeting a certain someone. But the ability to maintain a sustainable and satisfying relationship is all on you and your partner.
As Dr. Ty Tashiro says in his book, The Science of Happily Ever After,[1] we’ve grown up with romantic fairy tales (e.g. Cinderella), teenage romantic tragedies (e.g. Twilight), rom-com movies (e.g. When Harry met Sally) and quintessential classics (e.g. Romeo & Juliet) and while they are entertaining and lovely… they are partly to blame for people having “the notion that fate is responsible for people falling in love.”
Dr. Tashiro cites a 2010 Gallup survey of more than one thousand adults. Respondents were asked if they believed that there is a soul mate…Eighty-eight percent said yes.
So, out of the entire world population there’s only one person for you? And that person is of the proper gender and sexual orientation, speaks your language, has the traits you need and will cross your path?
LOL….you know there are more than seven billion on this earth, right?!
Love doesn’t just plop on your lap perfect & lovely. No. When you fall in love with someone and want it to last longer than the honeymoon period you work, compromise, cooperate, cry, swear and laugh your way through it. You have to do it the hard way because nothing that’s of value is easy.
Obviously I’m writing this because I want to pitch you my matchmaking services but I’m also writing this because love and the possibility of a family are really important to our self-identity (for both men & women). So much so that it’s incredible we don’t take a more proactive and strategic approach to pairing up and procreating.
xo Ariadna

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[1] Which you can buy here.